What the bible says about dating and courtship
No “Mom” and “me,” only the warm, dark oneness of the womb.Even before we were pushed, kicking and screaming down that dark tunnel toward the bright light, we still viewed the world outside the womb as a part of ourselves.The first day of day care or kindergarten brought another assault on the oneness of early childhood. There is nothing the two of us—Superman and Wonder Woman—can’t do as long as we have each other. When this occurs, the couple can either choose to find someone else to “feel” in love with or can go on from baby love to a deeper, more mature love.Many choose to look around, which is fine for the junior and senior high school years.
By creating that list, couples have a sense of hope (“We have a lot going for us!
The hunger in our little tummies and the breasts that fulfilled that need were one.
The need for comfort, protection, and dry bottom were one with the warm, caring blurs that came running at three o’clock in the morning to meet those needs.
For instance, I realize that I only dated brunettes—despite the advertising campaign at the time that “blondes have more fun.” My mother and grandmother had dark hair! We begin to make a mental list of the qualities we most value in those closest and dearest to us. Money believers that, by the time we are eight years old, we have an unconscious but very precise idea of what our future dates and mate should look like. (I’ve even gotten to the point of hugging my parents.) In other areas, though, we haven’t coped that well.
Many believe that our dating radar is programmed to detect those who match up to these unconscious emotional images. (We’re both terminally stubborn.) But understanding the tendency to marry someone to solve childhood issues has been helpful in seeing why we expect certain things from adult relationships.
This also explains why many divorces occur in the first two years of marriage.